Daniel's Adoption Story

Welcome to Daniel's blog!

2008-12-25T22:55:00.006-05:00

Now that we're home from China, our story is complete.

This is a video Sarah made with pictures and videos of China and home...

And the rest of this post is so that you can easily read our entries in order.

Pages
Daniel
The Neville's

Before Travelling
Waiting for TA
We got our TA!
We have our travel date!
Travelling tomorrow

In China
We're here
July 21st
July 22nd
July 24th
July 25th
July 26th
July 27th
July 30th

Some more pictures

2008-07-30T06:07:00.005-04:00

This will be our last post as we will be leaving China very early Friday morning. We cannot wait to get home (like you can't imagine!) and show off our new son to everyone we meet! Daniel is a beautiful child who loves a lot and will be a big blessing to us. I cannot wait to watch him settle into our family and grow and develop like MaryCatherine has done so well. Please be sure to drop in at 5 Isabella Drive so we can introduce you to him. We look forward to it!

Another video

2008-07-30T04:04:00.002-04:00

A Boat Ride Down the Pearl River

2008-07-27T23:01:00.004-04:00

Today we did the usual not-much-of-anything. We swam in the pool and met several nice families. One family's friend is traveling with them who is from Nashua, NH.

Daniel is becoming very comfortable around the pool now. So comfortable that he decided to jump in without anyone near him for catching purposes. MaryCatherine can now swim independantly with a a plastic tube around her. This is big progress for her and she is quite proud.

In the evening we took a boat ride down the Pearl River which was a lot of fun. Many of the buildings are lit up with decorative lights which are quite pretty to see.

MaryCatherine continues to make friends with many of the shopkeepers. They tend to be young ladies either in their late teens or early twenties. So we have spent a fair amount of time (since we have it to kill) visiting our new friends.

Daniel tends to follow MaryCatherine around and mimick whatever she does. I can see this developing into a 'big sister knows best' kind of thing. She will easily take on the teacher role for him showing him all her mastered skills (bike riding, trampoline tricks, etc) This is certainly a love/hate relationship for both of them. Although at times they seem like best buddies, she has recently declared, "I don't want Daniel in my family." And if we could understand him, he probably is saying the same thing.

Daniel is typical boy and is high energy. I have a feeling he will be attaching himself to Evan at home since he seems to like other boys to play with. He also needs to be watched every second. I mean this literally. In the blink of an eye he could be playing in traffic or jumping out of a window. However, he has an excellent attention span for some things. He loves puzzles, even if he can't do them without assistance. He will sit quietly for sometimes 30 minutes trying to put them together. (This is good for long plane rides!) I bought him a top that lights up as it spins. We sat for about 15 minutes with this and it was me who got tired of it before he did. He loves music and singing. My brain is already in gear planning for back-to-school. While Emma is doing her school work I will need to incorporate many of these activities into my psuedo preschool.

We have only 3 full days left in China. It is hard to believe that this trip will soon be behind us. I was able to change our flights and now will be departing Friday morning and spending a 12 hour layover in San Francisco. Hopefully Bill's family, who lives about 1 hour from here, can come to the airport and be the first ones to meet their new cousin/grandson/nephew!

-Liz

Another Low-Key Day in China

2008-07-26T08:20:00.002-04:00

Today was an easy and laid back day. I started the day with a powerwalk around the park near the hotel. As I was walking past a small Catholic Church that faces the park, I noticed some little old ladies inside saying their rosary (in Chinese). I checked the schedule inside and was pleasantly surprised to find Holy Mass would start in 20 minutes. I thought how often I can't get to daily Mass at home so I guess I had to come to China to be able to attend. Mass was in Chinese of course but it really didn't matter. I could follow along just fine with my English missal (aside from the homily, of course).

It was so cool to be in faraway China in a Catholic Church and see all the familiar things: statue of the Sacred Heart, crucifix on the altar, holy water and of course, little old ladies reciting the rosary. It brings to mind what Jesus said, "Upon this Rock I will build my Church." And it is just that-rock solid. The Catholic Faith is truly the same all over the world, just in different languages.

-Liz

~~~

Mom wrote that yesterday but now we have more news... We got our consulate appointment changed! That means we'll leave China early!!

Personally, I love being in China. Some people just look at it and say "evil Communist country," but we always complain about our government. Mom said in her last post, "well at least in America he won't get thrown in jail when he speaks his mind," but we've all heard of (or been, haha) abortion protesters getting arrested. We passed a billboard that said something like, "Have a happy family, be a good citizen;" Mom leans over and mouths, "Brainwashing!" when it's just a simple public service announcement. My point is, I wish people would stop thinking of our adoption as "saving Daniel from the evil China" and more like "thank you China for letting us adopt this kid." 'Kay, I got that out of my system, rant over.'

But anyway, as for being in China, the lifestyle itself is definitely tiring: living in a hotel, eating out every night, not having much to do... Every time I smell fried food my stomach gives a little turn, even if I usually love Chinese food! So I'll be really happy to come home.

So in an hour we're going to go to the little Chinese church for Mass, and then I guess Mom will be busy getting flights moved around and stuff.

See you all soon!!

-Sarah

Cutest videos ever

2008-07-25T06:54:00.001-04:00

I wish I knew what he was singing!

-Sarah

7 Days Left!

2008-07-25T03:50:00.003-04:00

The paper chain taped to the wall in our room is getting smaller. MaryCatheine takes one ring off every morning. It's a good visual for her (and for Mom) to help her understand when we'll be returning to our favorite gray house on Isabella Drive.

This morning at 5 AM Sarah's wimpering woke me up. She was complaining of a sore throat. Her sore throats, although now rare, usually mean a trip to the doctor for antibiotics. I started stressing about where I would take her for medical care or should I instead, beg the few American families I've met for their antibiotics they usually bring with them when adopting.

Sarah also had a slight fever which confirmed she probably had some sort of infection. Instead, our guide directed us to the very popular White Swan Hotel around the corner which has a medical clinic. As I opened the door to the office, I felt like I was entering a time warp. It was really a doctor's office from the 60's or 70's. You know, the old-fashioned kind with little brown bottles of who-knows-what in glass cabinets. We were greeted by a friendly ederly physician in a long white coat who took Sarah's temperature with the kind of thermometer you have to shake. He then proceeded to put it under her arm. (Thank goodness! I thought he might put it in her mouth.) He checked her throat with a tongue depressor and said she had an infection. No throat swabs for cultures sent to a medical lab, etc. He then sent us on our way with an antibiotic along with some "Chinese medicine" (huh?) which she was to take for a few days. All this cost me $30 which, of course, back home is equivalent to a copay minus the prescription.

So our trip to MaryCatherine's orphanage was cancelled for today but Sarah is already feeling much better.

As a result, we had quite a low-key day. The little ones and I went to a park along the Pearl River this morning to allow Sarah her rest. This was really quite a wonderful experience. In most parks people are together in large groups doing a variety of physical activities. Some play music and do ballroom dancing. Some do aerobic types of exercises. Whoever is interested in a particular activity just joins in. There was even a group of people playing instuments and singing traditional Chinese songs. It is so great to see the sense of community that exists among the Chinese in their everyday lives. I started to feel a little guilty that my two Chinese kids were going to miss out on the cultural aspect of China-learning their history, language, and being with other Chinese people. I suppose it is a tradeoff for the many advantages they will have in the US-like speaking their mind publically without being thrown in jail, for instance. So now I'm pretty much over it.

Daniel has been a total sweetheart today. He is much happier with less meltdowns. He has been very affectionate (no kisses yet, though!) and kinder to MaryCatherine. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

-Liz

The Reality of a New Brother

2008-07-24T00:47:00.004-04:00

Reality bites. I think if MaryCatherine could verbalize what it is like to have a newly adopted little brother this is what she might say. I'm afraid things are going to be very different for her now. For the past 2 years her world has been full of loving, doting family members at every turn. She has not experienced sibling rivraly being that Emma is 6 years older; only siblings who entertain her throughout the day and praise everything she does. She has not experienced a sibling whacking her because she has something he wants, one who tattles on her, gives her the evil eye because she is sitting on Mommy's lap, etc. Life had been pretty good on the homefront. Until 3 days ago, that is. (The picture on the left is an example of this. Daniel got to stand in the place she wanted.)

Daniel's transition so far has been good considering what others have gone through with the same aged kids. I believe his grief is more passive than other kids his age. He is extremely sad and it shows on his face at times during the day. He is also angry. Unfortunately, MaryCatherine is getting the brunt of his anger. He is jealous towards her and competitive. He wants everything she has even if he could really care less about it. He comes to me and starts pointing at her if he thinks she is doing something naughty, I believe, to relish in her being punished. He hits her and pinches her if he thinks I'm not looking.

Time outs and gentle scoldings really work well for him. He cares that he is punished and cries and cries. His cry is really much like a baby's. In fact, I doubt he is 3 and a half years old. (I would guess more like just three.) After being punished, he will often sulk and look at MaryCatherine with daggers in his eyes. He really is suffering tremendously and doesn't understand at all what is happening.

On the good side of things, Daniel is attaching to his mother! This is really wonderful given that we have known each other for only 2 days. Today and yesterday he has started coming to me for hugs. He will let me hold and cuddle him. Today especially, he does not want me out of his sight and will follow after me. Here is a child who has had major transition after transition at only 3 and is still able to attach quickly to his new mother. The only explaination for this swift attachment is the power of prayer. I know there are so many friends and family praying for us. I am awed by it and thank you from the bottom of my heart. But naturally most of the thanks needs to go to God. He has been gracious enough to listen to these prayers and respond as only a loving Father would.

-Liz

~~~

Today we went to a park! It was a beautiful area on a hill with lots and lots of trees. Mom kept saying how much Grandma Jane would have loved it. Check out that tree! (And more exercising/playground equiptment.) And there was a pond that had HUGE koi fish swimming in it. They were all gathered together, trying to get food someone was throwing.

And in one section, there were some amusement rides. Daniel and MaryCatherine rode a merry-go-round (which, gasp, had no seat belts!), a spinning airplane ride, and a ride where you sit in little cars and take a safari and pretend to shoot endangered animals with handguns. It was awesome.

...Well at least Mom's having fun. Nah I'm kidding, both kids had a blast, if only we had a picture of Daniel helping me shoot the elephants!

-Sarah

Day Two

2008-07-22T19:11:00.005-04:00

Today (Tuesday) we only had one appointment back at theadoption office where we were on Monday. I was a little nervous because the orphanage worker would be there and I was afraid Daniel would want to leave with her, have a meltdown when he saw her, or many other scenerios. I was very surprised that he hardly reacted at all upon seeing her. We finalized the adoption by signing more papers, took a picture of me and Daniel for some official document, and lastly was interviewed by a 'notary'.

This interview was a formality to ensure that I wanted this particular child and would not abuse or abandon him. The gentlman, when asked how many children I had, seemed to find it incredulous that I would be adopting still another child especially when I had 4 biological ones. He point blankly asked me, "Why do you have so many children?" I had not expected this question and was wondering if it was on his form in front of him. I said, "Children make my husband and I happy." (I could have said so many other things but that was the only thing that came out at that second. Darn it!) Then he said, "Are you a Christ?" (he pronounced this with a short i) I had no idea what the heck he was talking about and again wondered if this was a standard question. After I realized what he was asking, thoughts of that girl from Columbine who admitted she believed and was then shot dead raced through my mind. I thought, aw, what the heck...and I said, "Do you mean a Christian? Yes, we are." (Does this count for martydom even if he didn't pull out a shotgun? )

Afterwards, our guide who knew of this man, explained that he was trying to figure out the 'why' behind some adoptions and that he often asks off-the-cuff kind of questions. But this experience just brings home to me the sadess that exists in this country all due to a silly policy that has engrained in so many minds that many children in one family is just not necessary . (Also, try finding a double stroller in China. They are nonexisitent)

So on to Daniel and his adjustment. I am seeing gradual-ever so slight-moves of his bonding to us. Yesterday, we went to the pool (which is located on the rooftop of the hotel) where he had an absolute ball. He was running in and out of the kiddie pool, splashing, laughing-it was wonderful. At one point he ran over and leaned into me. Did not embrace me-no- the arms were somewhat down at his sides. But I grabbed the opportunity no less, and gave him a big hug and kiss. He allowed it-it was so close to a hug on his part-and then ran back to the pool.

Daniel came to us on Monday with a fever and a congested cough. This has been slowing him down quite a bit to say the least. Thank goodness for Tylenol!

-Liz

~~~

We've seen some funny English signs so far. Here are a few.

-Sarah

A video of gotcha day

2008-07-22T00:44:00.008-04:00

It's long, but this is a video of us getting Daniel, and playing in the hotel room afterwards.

-Sarah

More stuff

2008-07-21T23:02:00.003-04:00

Daniel and MaryCatherine are napping right now, and Mom's at the grocery store. We went to the adoption building again today for an appointment. Daniel pretty much sat there in a daze the whole time; he was both exhausted and sick. He'd had a fever yesterday too, aparently, but he started burning up this morning.

There are some cute pictures of the last few days that I didn't upload yet, so I wanted to share them.

These life-size statues are all around our hotel! After MaryCatherine posed a group of cute Chinese kids came and I took their picture.

We went to a park one afternoon. There's a little playground, some monkeybars, and a see-saw, but lots of other structures that we didn't recognize. Then we came back in the early morning, and the park was full of adults! The park isn't just a playground, but something like a public gym. They're only simple metal structures but I think they're just as good as all our high-tech gym equipment! That red barrel-shaped thing is like a treadmill, you stand on top of it and run. There are lots of things that look like they're for exercising joints, or something. MaryCatherine's on a chair that can spin, I guess you hang on to the purple handle and go back and forth; the pink circle is one that you can stand on. (Also notice the background of that picture: a "bride" is in a photoshoot. She must have been a model because when she walked, she was wearing sweatpants under her dress!) Also, it's common to see adults and elderly people walking or jogging -- but there are also people that walk backwards, or wave their hands in circles when they walk. This must be another physical therapy. Maybe Americans would be healthier if they wouldn't be too embarassed to walk backwards down the street!!

Here's another one of those nifty statues! This is right outside Lucy's, the restaurant that serves hamburgers and french fries; we've been there twice already. And this is our hotel room.

Finally, my favorite picture. There's a nice shop that's connected to our hotel. We stopped by, and as usual, MaryCatherine made some friends!

-Sarah

More details from last night

2008-07-21T15:25:00.006-04:00

This is a sort of continuation of the last post as I could not really concentrate with everything going on in the room (children running wildly around).

I was told by our social worker that tantruming and crying from Daniel is actually a good thing and that he should be doing these things. If he is too easy going and goes along with everything, he is not really grieving and that this behavior is actually not good. He should be having a bad time for 3 to 4 days at least to start with. So far he has been a little too happy. But it has really only been about 6 hours. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

He and MaryCatherine took a bath after dinner. Daniel had the absolute time of his life. He kept pouring water over MaryCatherine's head and laughing hysterically. She is someone who hates even a drop of water in her face and normally would have gotten very upset. But she just sat there and let him do it but eventually looked at me like, Mom tell him to stop, please. The two of them played so well together . Daniel is definitely all boy, there's no question about it. He plays rougher, and likes to be roughed up. Evan was the same way; there was no play that was ever too rough. Evan, you'll finally be able to rough someone up in the house without getting in trouble for it!

We were able to get a few big smiles out of him tonight. These were the times when I grabbed him quickly and very roughly kissed him and planted some raspberries on his cheeks. He always tried to get away but laughed all the same.

We were told Daniel's bedtime is 10 PM. Well, that certainly would not stay the same. We all went to bed about 8:30 (still suffering from jetlag) and he fell asleep very quickly. He also went to bed without a diaper and is still dry at 4 AM.

Daniel, I think, has the potential to be big trouble! He has a very impish personality and likes to touch everything and get into things. I already told Bill tonight to start baby-proofing the house. He is very strong-willed (we were told this by the orphanage worker, as well) and will put up a fight if something he has is taken from him (like the electrical converter!) He really does not seem like he's 3 and a half. If I had to guess, I would say he acts more like a just-3-year old; definitely younger than MaryCatherine. He most definitely looks and acts younger than her.

Again, I have to thank all our friends for their kindess and their prayers while I have been away. Bill has had the luxury of receiving meals from some concerned friends (and they should be as he can't even boil a hotdog) so I thank you for it all. Your prayers seem also to be working as our initial time together has been very positive. Thank you, too, Joanne, for your awesome idea concerning Our Lady. It has been consoling to have her beautiful image with us here in China.

-Liz

Gotcha Day for Daniel

2008-07-21T06:08:00.004-04:00

What a whirlwind of a day. Finally, 2 PM came and we could go to the Government building to receive Daniel. There were MANY, MANY families also receiving their children today. We arrived a little early so we were able to watch the moms and dads extend their arms for the first time. I especially loved watching the first-time parents.

Suddenly, Daniel walked into the room holding onto the orphanage workers hand. I think he recognized us at once since we had sent a photo album of all of us a few months back. He started to hide and wanted nothing to do with us. MaryCatherine immediately approached him and gave him candy (I love bribery!). However, he became hysterical and wanted no part of it. There was no settling him down, so we quickly scooped him up and got back into the van to the hotel. He cried the entire way home. Once we got to the room he gradually became interested in the toys we had for him. He LOVED the DVD player! MaryCatherine was absolutely great. She continued bringing him toys and trying to console him.

He finally settled down completely and began interacting with us as we played with him. I am pleased to say he is completely potty-trained. Yay! No more diapers. He LOVES the spiderman sandals that light up when he walks and is continually stomping his feet.

We went out to dinner about an hour after we got to the room. Daniel did well and devoured a plate of corn and beef. He is a peanut of a boy...smaller and much lighter than MaryCatherine.

The orphanage worker warned us to keep a close eye on him since he is very smart and may figure out how to escape if we are not careful. Great.

-Liz

~~~

When we were at the adoption building, it was immediately obvious that having MaryCatherine was a huge asset. She was the only one he let approach him. He cried so hard, as soon as we got him, during the car ride back, and in the hotel. Even our bribes of food and candy didn't work. He started to settle down after getting to the hotel, but didn't really smile until dinner.

MaryCatherine put Charlie Brown on our little DVD player. He went over to it and started pressing ALL the buttons. I showed him how to open it, and put Mulan in. Then I switched it to Mandarin (My favorite thing about that DVD is that it's got Chinese audio. Most American DVDs only have English, French, and Spanish). We started pointing at all the people and things: "It's Mulan! Doggy! Baba, Daddy!" He got really into it, mimicking what I said and pointing as well, plus his own comments in Chinese.

Now MaryCatherine and Daniel are in the bath together. He dumped water on her head and laughed maniacally! MaryCatherine screams and whines when I get water in her face while washing her hair; she was a little taken aback but soon she started pouring water on him too.

I said, "Daniel, smile!" and he gave me this huge grin!!

-Sarah

We're here!!

2008-07-19T23:48:00.004-04:00

Wow, that was a long trip. We left the house at 7am NH time and were at our hotel at 11pm China time. I think the trip was, in all, about 27 hours long.

This picture is us at Manchester, before the journey! Those U-shaped pillows are sooo comfortable.

Every time I opened the window it looked completely different. It was wicked cool. I had no idea where we were, most of the time, though. On the flight from Tokyo to Guangzhou, I had no idea if it was supposed to last 2 ours or 6 hours. I just slept. The mountains in this picture are either in Canada, Alaska, or Russia. Probably Canada, cuz it was somewhat early in the trip.

MaryCatherine made lots of friends along the way, from little Chinese babies to old Japanese men watching sumo wrestling. In Tokyo Narita Airport, she got hyper from lack of sleep and was running all over the place. But she was such an incredibly good girl! She didn't cry on the planes at ALL, all 3 of them, and she slept when her mommy told her to.

So now we're at the Victory Hotel, which is very nice, and hanging out until it's time for church. We're going to get Daniel on Monday at 3pm.

-Sarah

PS: I hope the kids back home had an epic night of Avatar!

~~~

One added funny note...as we were landing in Guangzhou after our 20 hour or so trip MaryCatherine turned and said in her most serious tone of voice, "Can we go home now? I wanna go home."

Liz

Traveling tomorrow

2008-07-17T20:31:00.003-04:00

It is Thursday night , the end of a long day ...but we are finally ready! I will be so relieved to get on that plane tomorrow morning. This is very similiar to feelings in the delivery room when our babies were born. I remember saying "Yay, I'm not pregnant anymore!" Tomorrow I will be saying, "No more paperwork, no more running around for adoption stuff." It will all be behind us much like those long pregnancies. So we look forward to meeting our new son in a few short days. It is really such an incredible time for us.

I would like to say a huge 'thank you' from the bottom of my heart to all those dear friends and family who have been praying for us. In addition, MaryCatherine and I received amost beautiful blessing from Father Philip for safe travel and for our adoption of Daniel. I feel greatly blessed for the thoughts and prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf. Thank you so much!

-Liz

We have our travel date!!!

2008-07-08T13:07:00.002-04:00

We are officially leaving for China on July 18!!!!!!!

Liz, Sarah, and MaryCatherine are going to go.

There's really nothing else to say.

THANK GOD!!!!!

-Sarah

We got our TA!!

2008-07-01T17:42:00.002-04:00

So we finally got our travel approval! Our adoption agency, All God's Children International, is working to get us our consolate appointment (which will determine exactly when we leave China). They're trying really hard to let us travel around the 18th of July. BUT, the Olympics are messing us up really bad. If we don't go in July, we might not travel till September.

We should find out our exact travel dates soon. We'll keep you posted.

-Sarah

Waiting for TA!

2008-06-05T17:26:00.003-04:00

Hi! I'm putting up the first post of Daniel's new blog, yay. :)

We got our LOC (Letter of Confirmation) last week, so I think China will get it on Friday, the 6th. That means we'll get our Travel Approval somewhere between June 13th and -- at the very worst -- July 4th.

Then we go to China two weeks after we get the TA!

At this point, we want Mom, Sarah (me), and MaryCatherine to travel to China. But MaryCatherine's having passport issues.

Please keep us in your prayers!

-Sarah

Daniel

2008-05-02T09:06:00.002-04:00

Daniel lived in the Shantou orphanage until he went into foster care. His special need was heart problems. This photo is from Love Without Boundaries, who paid for his surgery in December, 2006. I think he's in Shanghai, at the hospital, and the woman is an orphanage worker (or "ayi," which means "auntie") who's holding up a knitted sweater that someone donated!

The picture on the right is the first referral picture we saw of Daniel, on the website of All God's Children (our adoption agency). Isn't he adorable??

I think he's with his foster dad in this picture.

More pictures of Daniel...

The Neville Family

2008-05-01T20:45:00.000-04:00

Bill & Liz have 5 kids other than Daniel, 4 bio and 1 adopted:

Sarah, age 15.
"I like to play piano, design websites (like this one), and be in plays. I'm homeschooled and in I'm finishing up my sophomore year."

Evan, age 13.
"I'm 13, I'm in 8th grade, and I like to play guitar and piano. I also enjoy listening to music and playing basketball, soccer, and baseball. I go to Holy Family Academy."

Claire, age 12.
"Hi, my name is Claire, and I'm in 6th grade at St. Thomas Aquinas. I like acting, singing, and sports."

Emma, age 9.
"I like playing piano and singing. I'm learning Mandarin Chinese, and I'm in 3rd grade and homeschooled."

MaryCatherine, age 3.
Adopted from QingYuan, Guangdong, China, in 8/06.
She's very anxious for her brother Daniel to come home, and loves Dora the Explorer and Kai-Lan. Her hobbies are bossing her older siblings around, and being silly.