The Reality of a New Brother

Reality bites. I think if MaryCatherine could verbalize what it is like to have a newly adopted little brother this is what she might say. I'm afraid things are going to be very different for her now. For the past 2 years her world has been full of loving, doting family members at every turn. She has not experienced sibling rivraly being that Emma is 6 years older; only siblings who entertain her throughout the day and praise everything she does. She has not experienced a sibling whacking her because she has something he wants, one who tattles on her, gives her the evil eye because she is sitting on Mommy's lap, etc. Life had been pretty good on the homefront. Until 3 days ago, that is. (The picture on the left is an example of this. Daniel got to stand in the place she wanted.)

Daniel's transition so far has been good considering what others have gone through with the same aged kids. I believe his grief is more passive than other kids his age. He is extremely sad and it shows on his face at times during the day. He is also angry. Unfortunately, MaryCatherine is getting the brunt of his anger. He is jealous towards her and competitive. He wants everything she has even if he could really care less about it. He comes to me and starts pointing at her if he thinks she is doing something naughty, I believe, to relish in her being punished. He hits her and pinches her if he thinks I'm not looking.

Time outs and gentle scoldings really work well for him. He cares that he is punished and cries and cries. His cry is really much like a baby's. In fact, I doubt he is 3 and a half years old. (I would guess more like just three.) After being punished, he will often sulk and look at MaryCatherine with daggers in his eyes. He really is suffering tremendously and doesn't understand at all what is happening.

On the good side of things, Daniel is attaching to his mother! This is really wonderful given that we have known each other for only 2 days. Today and yesterday he has started coming to me for hugs. He will let me hold and cuddle him. Today especially, he does not want me out of his sight and will follow after me. Here is a child who has had major transition after transition at only 3 and is still able to attach quickly to his new mother. The only explaination for this swift attachment is the power of prayer. I know there are so many friends and family praying for us. I am awed by it and thank you from the bottom of my heart. But naturally most of the thanks needs to go to God. He has been gracious enough to listen to these prayers and respond as only a loving Father would.

-Liz

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Today we went to a park! It was a beautiful area on a hill with lots and lots of trees. Mom kept saying how much Grandma Jane would have loved it. Check out that tree! (And more exercising/playground equiptment.) And there was a pond that had HUGE koi fish swimming in it. They were all gathered together, trying to get food someone was throwing.

And in one section, there were some amusement rides. Daniel and MaryCatherine rode a merry-go-round (which, gasp, had no seat belts!), a spinning airplane ride, and a ride where you sit in little cars and take a safari and pretend to shoot endangered animals with handguns. It was awesome.

...Well at least Mom's having fun. Nah I'm kidding, both kids had a blast, if only we had a picture of Daniel helping me shoot the elephants!

-Sarah